What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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