Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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