Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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