Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
