I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
