she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
