They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
