What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I got inside last night via doggy door
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
