dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
