i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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