he puts the penis in happiness.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
