He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
