you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
