New low: just hacked my moms facebook
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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