Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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