Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize