Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Randomize
