Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
