she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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