4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
