I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
