I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The ass gains better be worth it
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