Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
