He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
