I'm jealous of your bromance
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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