dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
