I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
