Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He better not be in your backpack
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I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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