Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
