Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
