i don't plan on having that self control this summer
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
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How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
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Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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