so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
