alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
