We won't sleep together?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
