So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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