he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
