I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
