Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
