I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
