My nipple is on Facebook.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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