Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize