His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
