Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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