worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
