I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I need to calm my uterus...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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