You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
