Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize