i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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