This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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