id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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