I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am one with the molecules
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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