I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
