is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
