Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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