I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
