its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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