you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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