He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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