Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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