I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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